(I am bringing some of the “Notes” that I have written on facebook but not shared here on my blog….not sure why?….over today in between lessons and babies (I babysit a few days a week)). I posted this on FB in September, 2010.
I was looking in some old computer files to find a talk that I did for the 3-6th grade girls in Awana a few years back (haven’t found it yet though 😦 ) and ran across my testimony that I had written out when we joined our current church. I wrote this back in 2006, but thought some of you might be interested in reading how I came to love and serve Jesus Christ my Lord and Savior.
I grew up in a home that would be described by most as dysfunctional, to me, it was normal. My sense of “normal” was fairly distorted because of the examples that were set before me. My life was consumed with trying to fit in, be normal, be accepted and loved and to fill the void that was left in my life by the divorce of my parents and the abuse that I endured as a young child. I was looking to friends, and activities to fill that void….none of which did. I did always believe in God and Jesus, and I can remember being a small child lying in my bed not able to sleep, and asking Jesus to hold my hand and to comfort me so that I could fall asleep. Honestly, I always thought I could feel Jesus’ hand wrap around mine.
When I was 18 years old, my mother and I were having some major problems, and a friend of mine from high school came by one night to visit, and my mom told him to talk some sense into me. He and I talked, and he invited me to church. I attended church with him several times, and really thought that I had given my life to Him, but I never felt really SURE of my salvation. If anyone would have asked me why I should be allowed into heaven, I couldn’t have told them with absolute certainty that I could have eternal life with God. Until New Years Eve, 1987…there was a guest speaker at a New Years Eve prayer meeting that we went to, and something he said that night helped me to realize that I hadn’t given my life to Christ. I prayed the prayer of salvation that night and I KNEW that my sins had been forgiven, and that I would live eternally with God.
At that time, I didn’t really know HOW to be a Christian, I didn’t know how to read my bible, or how to pray (well, I didn’t think I did, I have since learned that my heartfelt conversations with God were in fact prayer)…..even though I had given my life to Christ, and had received the gift of Salvation, my life wasn’t being lived FOR Christ. I was living for myself.
In 1990, Don and I got married, and we started attending a bible teaching church, and I started the process of learning how to live my life for Christ. It has been a process that has been going on for 16+ years now, but today, I can honestly say that my life is lived for Christ (well, most days….), and that the Holy Spirit dwells within me. I can always tell when my life is drifting back to being lived for ME…..I stop hearing God’s leadings…..and most of the time, I am able to right it without too much pain. Othertimes, the lessons are harder learned. But I can honestly say, I love the Lord with all my heart, and my heartfelt desire is to lead a life that is pleasing to Him!