Today I’ve been in a funk, and honestly, I think it’s been all week. Earlier in the week I thought it was hormones but today I realized it’s because I’m missing my mom. I don’t know if I’ve ever shared on my blog about this before, it is actually very personal, so I probably haven’t. But I feel like sharing now…not to get sympathy, or pity or any reason other than to caution parents to really love their parents UNCONDITIONALLY.
Almost 10 years ago my mom walked out of our lives and at first it was kind of subtle, but then it became much more blatant, and then it got downright mean. The only thing that I can figure out is that caused it was that I chose my God and my husband over her. I chose to live under the headship of my God, and of my husband and not to allow her to run my life anymore (it took me several years of marriage to get to this point, by the way). About a year or so before the last time I talked to her she told me she didn’t want to hear any more about God or church or anything like that from me. Well, my life is all about God, honoring Him, serving Him, and loving Him, and much of our time is spent at church and on church activities and with church friends. I can’t and wouldn’t hide that.
It does make me sad that I don’t have my mommy in my life anymore, but the thing that hurts the most is that our youngest two children have no memory of their Grandma or their Uncle (my brother was left severly handicapped and completely dependant upon my mom after a very bad car accident in June, 1990). My mom has missed out on watching her grand babies grow up and seeing what beautiful, Godly young men and women they’ve grown into. Young people to truly be proud of!
One thing that this has taught me is to really pray for my children, as well as her and my brother. It has caused me to really be a better mom, and to be more involved in my children’s lives.
Parents, please always love your children truly unconditionally! It hurts like crazy to be estranged from your parent.